Common jokes
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What do Pac-Man and Olaf have in common?
They are both gay.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.