A guy told a beautiful girl "hey I want to make love to you if I throw 2000$ when you go to pick it up that's when I'll go is that okay?" She called her husband and he said "okay but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down" Four hours later she shows up to her house and tell her husband "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS"
Why do homeless people commit crimes
They get a bed in jail
why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other suiSIDE to see their parents
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide because you won’t bring back afterwards
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says f*** no you won’t return it
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victimless!
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
I be ready to commit suicide. But when it comes to jumping out my window im scared ash
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit scucide. (YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Alven and the chimpmunks commit war crimes
this guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named how to commit suicide he never returned it
a man went into a libary to get a book on how to commit sucide the libarian said "no you won't bring it back
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. my friends do. one person never does any of his homework.
eventually we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly commit suicide.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m
If you were to ask me: "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?", I would say a multi-storey car park. Because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
