Commitment Jokes

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide

Why did orphans wanted to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

Why doesnt kermit the frog get married? He doent like kermitment

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s jump at his funeral

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

So my teacher's daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say "What's wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin'".

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

Where do spiders commit crimes? The Dark Web

what happens when a battery commits a crime? they get charged!

Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?

So he could be wanted.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog commit suicide? Well i wouldn't want to be name asdjasdjasdak either.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide ? You can't do anything he's already on line