Command

Command Jokes

Syndrome

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

Ironman

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

Chair

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.

Difference

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

Lighthouse

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

The commander starts answering:

"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

Movie

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Minefield

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

Hitler

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

Dog name

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"

Bark

Riddles not jokes.

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

And last one:

What can rule, but not command?

Tell me the answers in the comments.

Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

Grenade launcher

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

Syndrome

Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

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  • Grenade launcher

    Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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