Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
Comedy Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
UR MUM!
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
