Chinese

Chinese Jokes

Dog

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"

Sister

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

Celebrity

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

Waiter

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

Bartender

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

Chin

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

Name

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

Hooker

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

Phone

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.

Baseball

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

Snack

If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.

Gun

Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"

Name

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.