children's jokes
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.