Children jokes

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?

Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.

I just killed a family of five.

Now I’m an orphan.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

What do orphans have in common with mute children?

They can't talk to their parents.

How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.

How do you get them back out? Straw.

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

What type of cake can orphans not have?

Homemade.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.