How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Why can't orphans play base ball, cuz they can't find home
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
