Children

Children jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

  • 6

    • A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

    One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

  • 0

    • Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

    Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

    What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?

    A homeless shelter.

    A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

    Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

    Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

    Priest: "Fuck the children."

    Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

    Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

    This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

    What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

    They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

  • 5

    • What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.