Children jokes
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
What show do orphans hate?
Family Guy.