What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
If you punch an orphan what are they going to do tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
HIIIIIIIIIII I LOVE ORPHANS
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
