Children jokes
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!
What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.