What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
Orphan, sorry.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
my mum found a chest that was wet and it had a child in it she asked me what it was for i said i put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are ded
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish so he started to yell out lil fishy lil fishy lil fishy they called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
