Childhood jokes
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Meet the Family."
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”