Childhood jokes
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Let's go punch some orphans, who are they gonna tell, their parents? 🤣🤣🤣
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.