Childhood jokes
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why do orphans air?
Itβs invisible just like their parents.
Memes
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
What do 9-year-old girls want? To be ate again!
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Why canβt orphans play baseball?
Because they canβt find home plate.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didnβt.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: Itβs hanging out of your pants.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, βMommy, can little girls have babies?β
βNo,β said his mom, βOf course not.β
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, βItβs okay! We can play that game!β
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.