Childhood jokes
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Orphans have no parents.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Orphan, sorry.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.