Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Childhood Jokes
What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?
"Me time."
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
Little Johnny walked to his parents' room. They were having sex, and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was, so he said, "What are y’all doing?"
The parents replied, "Umm, r-rapping presents!"
Little Johnny said, "Okay," and then left. In the morning, Little Johnny opened his presents. His parents said, "This one is from Santa!"
Little Johnny said, "No, it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents."
The parents said, "Ohh fuck!"
Little Johnny replied, "What, Mommy and Daddy?" They replied, "Oh, nothing!" "Oh, okay," Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dad's ear, "At least he doesn’t know the truth."
Little Johnny said, "What truth?"
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Most likely because they can't find home.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
