I like you, you like me.
Letโs go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barneyโs on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅRIP BARNEY
A kid goes to bed with his dad because heโs scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Whereโs the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. Thatโs all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
what an orthsn favourite movie home alone
Ms Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that. Little Johnny: Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr๐ตโ๐ซ
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didnโt.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: Itโs hanging out of your pants.
