yo dad went to get milk and still hasint came back 10 years later !!!!!!!!
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
why did the orphan cry when he got back home
because he did not have one
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
My Father touched me yesterday i called him a priest
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
