Childhood jokes
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
POV: it's picture day, but you can't sit still, even though your mom told you to but you got to exsited, about and you were just in it for the icecream at the shop, and then your mom says sit still but you don't listen, and honestly that would be me fr, NOT THAT DEEP BRO........
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home >:D
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Meet the Family."