Child jokes
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
I make baby mush.
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.