Child jokes
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Orphan
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.