Child jokes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"