Child safety

Child safety jokes

Pedophile

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

They're both dangerous to children.

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.