Cartoon

Cartoon Jokes

Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...

...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."

To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"

Bear

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Character

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Sonic

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

War

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

Line

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Kenny

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

Orphan

What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

At least someone chose Pikachu.

Wall

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

Chin

Peter Griffin's chin.

Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?

Pikachu

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!