Cartoon

Cartoon jokes

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Mickey Mouse

  • Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...

    ...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."

    To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"

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    Bear

  • Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

    His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

    *Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

    Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

    LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

    Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

    Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

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  • Character

  • Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

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    War

  • I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

    He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

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    Orphan

  • What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

    At least someone chose Pikachu.