A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned
Your mom heavier then Mariah can even Carry
guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're pare- oh wait, nvmd, carry on.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
a truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway, amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours strait
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys. American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun. African XP farms: Cotton field.
What does Michael jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket
Why do penguins đ§ carry fish đ in their beaks?
Because they donât have a pockets. Iâm
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts âVoodoo Dick, the door!â The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsierâs desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just canât get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it wonât come out!â The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. âVoodoo Dick my ass, bitch.â
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Your mother is so fast she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing or was it the coffin they carried him of in?
why are orphans sad? don't ask or their parents may... oh wait carry on
your fore head is so big that it could carry thepassengers of the titanic
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"
Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne"
Man walks in to his bedroom where his wish is carrying a sheep under his arm and says this is the pig I've been fucking.wife says that's not a pig that's a sheep dumbass.husband says I was talking to the sheep
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
- Come post!
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesnât see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes âAPRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
