Carry Jokes

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunatley, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very ATTACTING.

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool then the geese float through the air holding the tortoise the tortoise was about to say something but fell and died

Why did the rapper always carry a map?

Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS

Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?

To jot down his RAP-SODIES

Why did the rapper always carry a camera?

Because he wanted to CAPTURE the RAP STAR

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks

Why did the rapper always carry a map?

So he could NAVIGATE his way through the RAP GAME

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud this is the pig I screw when your on the rag and is wife replies that's not a pig its a sheep and he says I was talking to the sheep.

Please read all of it I know it's long please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that's what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.