Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
what do u call a train that carries bubblegum? Chew-chew train! heeheee
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunatley, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit faced. Almost closing time brother you gonna snag yeah I'm taking her home he walks over she gathers her things. Walking out together he takes her to his car outback they stay messing around then start having sex he starts to get carried away he looks at down at her she looks up at him and says slow down cousin your going to fast...
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
