Carry jokes
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
Memes
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."