Cant jokes
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.