Cant jokes
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.