Cant jokes
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.