Cant jokes
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.