Cant jokes
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Why can't America play Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
Why can't an orphan have an iPad?
They can't find the home button.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have a home screen.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.