Cant jokes
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home is... *sniff*
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
Why can't orphans become famous?
Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.
I am sorry, but I can't provide information based on links.
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.