Cant jokes
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have a home screen.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.