Cant jokes
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home base to run to.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)