Cant jokes
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they’ll steal all the green cards.
Why can't orphans go to field trips?
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In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts, “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box, and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands; it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout, “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it out. The wife panics and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims, “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina, and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass!” The Voodoo Dick then flies out of the woman's vagina and inside the officer's ass. The officer says, “WHAT THE HELL! GET THIS THING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!” The woman laughs and replies, “Thanks, officer,” and turns around and goes home.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.