Cant jokes
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Cant even nap in Ohio
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Why can't orphans go to field trips?
Parent Signature_________________
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because he does not know where home is.
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.