Cant jokes

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

  • 2

    • A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

  • 2

    • Why don't rappers ever become chefs?

    Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!

    God creates dog.

    God: "You are man's best friend."

    Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

    God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

    Dog: "....."

    God: "And chocolate kills you!"

    Dog: "🐶"

    Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.

    A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

    Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

    Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

    What are three things you can't give a black guy?

    A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

  • 4

    • Why can't science be combined with religion?

    Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

    I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

    Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?

    Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.

    W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

    *runs away in tears*

    What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

    You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

    Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

    What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

    Snooze Dogg.