Cant jokes
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
Unemployed.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?
A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!
Why don't rappers ever become chefs?
Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.