Canning jokes
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
Memes
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Why can orphans watch PG movies?
Because it's "Parental Guidance."
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.