Canning jokes

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Why can orphans watch PG movies?

Because it's "Parental Guidance."

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t run home.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser