Canning jokes

What's the most fun a monk can have?

Nun.

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

No sun.

Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?