Canning jokes

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Can I watch you?

Yes, you can watch me your watch.

No, I mean can I WATCH you?

I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.

OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!

Why do orphans play baseball?

So they can touch home.

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.

I am sorry, but I need some text to work with. Please provide the text from the comments section so I can generate the JSON data for you.

Dear prince,

Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

What is the difference between a tree and a dog?

A dog can walk and a tree cannot walk.

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it a home run.

What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.

How can one make Death Row a little more fun?

Musical electric chairs.

If we can't see air, can fish see water?

See, I was always told puns are funny.

But I can see now they aren't punny.

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

What did A say to Y?

"You cannot be alpha like me." :)

Y said, "Why? (Y)"

What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!