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Canning jokes

Hairline

It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

Text

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Prince

Dear prince,

Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

Dad

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Son

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Memes

Canning memes

Difference

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

Time

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

Time

What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?

Egg

What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.

Nut

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

Friend

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Dog

What is the difference between a tree and a dog?

A dog can walk and a tree cannot walk.

Kid

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

China

Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.