Canning Jokes

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

Just a pickup line.

"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.

Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?

Because they both split away from their family.

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?

After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

Why do orphans like to be gay?

So they can call someone "daddy."

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.