What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
Canning Jokes
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
