Canning jokes
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
Memes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Guys, can you like my jokes, please?