Canning jokes

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

What is a redneck virgin?

A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

Scroll down for explanation.

Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

What's the difference between a human and a tree?

A human can chop down a tree.

A tree can't chop down a human.

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Why is the fanny flat? Because so it can flop about.