Canning jokes

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

What do you call a fish that can use a katana?

A salmon-rai.

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.