Canning jokes

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

My guy: I have a Q-Tip.

Me: You can Q my tip.

My guy: Ayo!

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food