Canning jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home plate is.

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

For he can be wanted.

🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.