Canning jokes

My guy: I have a Q-Tip.

Me: You can Q my tip.

My guy: Ayo!

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

How are baseball and an orphan different?

A baseball game you can do a home run.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.