Canning jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Memes
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
Hereβs my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Can orphans eat at family restaurants?
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Yo mama so ugly,
they wonβt give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.