Canning jokes

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

What type of deer can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.

Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?

Answer: Loneliness.

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face...

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?