Canning jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
Why do orphans love going to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Memes
Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
Not like they can tell their parents.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.