Canning jokes
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can orphans have a phone? Because they can find the home button.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
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I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"