Canning jokes
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can orphans have a phone? Because they can find the home button.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Can teachers give homework to orphans?