Canning jokes
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can orphans have a phone? Because they can find the home button.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
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I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.