Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Why can a orphan not have homework they do not have a home
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
