Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? They can see their parents
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
ME: i hit a orphan! MOM: OMG WHY? ME:not like they can tell there parents-
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
