9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
