Canning jokes

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Why can lesbians not drive cars?

They always strap the wrong thing on.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

Why are women’s feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.